Post-Election Thoughts #8

To expand a bit on my post from yesterday re: putting words into actions to push back against the Trump regime.... The questionable machinations of the electoral college aside, Trump still won because too many people voted for him and not enough people voted for HRC (remember, that for all our griping about the EC, it also elected Obama - twice. So it's not completely flawed). Trump's win, then is due to: 1) People who voted for Trump - either out of tacit support for him, out of disgust for the "others" and the system itself, or because they were following the "party line" despite their reservations about him. 2) People who could have but did not vote for HRC - either out of disgust for the system, or because they voted for a 3rd party candidate. Most people can be categorized in one of two ways (and this applies to the most ardent Trump supporter as much as the most ardent Trump opponent): 1) We live almost entirely in a safe bubble of like-minded company - on Facebook, in our circles of friends, maybe in our families and other extended compatriots. We surround ourselves with those who think and act the way we do, for the most part, and rarely if ever encounter "the others." Our beliefs are rarely challenged and when they are it is easy for us to dismiss them with judgment and return to the smug safety of our belief system. 2) We live in a safe bubble of like-minded company, but regularly encounter and interact with "the others"...and when we do, it quickly descends into immature vitriol and accusation, speaking past each other in mutually unintelligible misunderstanding, reactionary assumption and petulant judgment. This leads either to frayed relationships or a mutual agreement to avoid the topics altogether. Very few of us - and I'm not necessarily always putting myself in this category either - have the wisdom and emotional maturity to fall into the 3rd group: 3) Living with personal convictions supported by like-minded individuals, but regularly interacting with "the others" on a level of mutual respect, seeking understanding and common ground, and finding solutions that work for all. And the reasons this category is sparsely populated is because we all exist with varying degrees of fear, self-righteousness and a firm belief in our own notions of right vs. wrong. We are afraid to step outside of our own belief system and entertain the idea that maybe - just maybe - there is more to "the others" than meets the eye. That fear and conviction counteracts the objectivity, bravery and compassion it requires to claim membership in the 3rd category. But that 3rd mode of interaction is EXACTLY where we all need to be if we are TRULY going to effect change. Certainly, change can come without camaraderie and mutual respect - in 4 years, the sheer inanity of this Presidency can and might cause a backlash, and yet again the fickle, short-sighted American public will swing back the other direction - but 4 years and 8 years beyond that, what will happen? We've seen the pendulum swing wildly in my own lifetime, from right to center-left to center-right and back again, and now to something that defies all categorization but is worrisome and dangerous all the same. It's time to stop the pendulum. It's time to truly find common ground and stop the rampant polarization, hatred, and judgment that has only increased in the last few decades between right, left, and every other category of humanity. And that means WE - those who value equality, humanity, and compassion - need to act FIRST. We need to extend the olive branch when a gun has been pointed in our face. We need to see past the vitriol and have compassion for the suffering that causes it. We need to speak to our mutual humanity rather than to the identities people create for themselves that invariably clash with others' assumed identities. We lost this battle, but the only way to win the war is not by continuing to have "I feel your pain, brother" conversations with people who think the way we do. It's not by having nasty battles of words and policy with "the others" in the hopes of defeating them. Only by meeting "the others" halfway and finding common ground, understanding that their hopes and fears aren't much different from our own, even if they have a totally different means of expressing it than we do, can we find a real and stable solution. That means that rather than ignoring or arguing with Trump supporters, rather than meeting them with accusation and dismissal, we must meet them with kindness, objective reasoning, and understanding, and try to find a way to show them that the solutions to their problems don't lie with the Trump method - a fact many may end up seeing for themselves in due time (e.g. Trump voters who will now see their healthcare taken away), but that we can help show them. They may not respond in a positive manner immediately, but ultimately what matters most is how they react when they have the chance to voice their concerns to our elected leaders.