Post-Election Thoughts #8

To expand a bit on my post from yesterday re: putting words into actions to push back against the Trump regime.... The questionable machinations of the electoral college aside, Trump still won because too many people voted for him and not enough people voted for HRC (remember, that for all our griping about the EC, it also elected Obama - twice. So it's not completely flawed). Trump's win, then is due to: 1) People who voted for Trump - either out of tacit support for him, out of disgust for the "others" and the system itself, or because they were following the "party line" despite their reservations about him. 2) People who could have but did not vote for HRC - either out of disgust for the system, or because they voted for a 3rd party candidate. Most people can be categorized in one of two ways (and this applies to the most ardent Trump supporter as much as the most ardent Trump opponent): 1) We live almost entirely in a safe bubble of like-minded company - on Facebook, in our circles of friends, maybe in our families and other extended compatriots. We surround ourselves with those who think and act the way we do, for the most part, and rarely if ever encounter "the others." Our beliefs are rarely challenged and when they are it is easy for us to dismiss them with judgment and return to the smug safety of our belief system. 2) We live in a safe bubble of like-minded company, but regularly encounter and interact with "the others"...and when we do, it quickly descends into immature vitriol and accusation, speaking past each other in mutually unintelligible misunderstanding, reactionary assumption and petulant judgment. This leads either to frayed relationships or a mutual agreement to avoid the topics altogether. Very few of us - and I'm not necessarily always putting myself in this category either - have the wisdom and emotional maturity to fall into the 3rd group: 3) Living with personal convictions supported by like-minded individuals, but regularly interacting with "the others" on a level of mutual respect, seeking understanding and common ground, and finding solutions that work for all. And the reasons this category is sparsely populated is because we all exist with varying degrees of fear, self-righteousness and a firm belief in our own notions of right vs. wrong. We are afraid to step outside of our own belief system and entertain the idea that maybe - just maybe - there is more to "the others" than meets the eye. That fear and conviction counteracts the objectivity, bravery and compassion it requires to claim membership in the 3rd category. But that 3rd mode of interaction is EXACTLY where we all need to be if we are TRULY going to effect change. Certainly, change can come without camaraderie and mutual respect - in 4 years, the sheer inanity of this Presidency can and might cause a backlash, and yet again the fickle, short-sighted American public will swing back the other direction - but 4 years and 8 years beyond that, what will happen? We've seen the pendulum swing wildly in my own lifetime, from right to center-left to center-right and back again, and now to something that defies all categorization but is worrisome and dangerous all the same. It's time to stop the pendulum. It's time to truly find common ground and stop the rampant polarization, hatred, and judgment that has only increased in the last few decades between right, left, and every other category of humanity. And that means WE - those who value equality, humanity, and compassion - need to act FIRST. We need to extend the olive branch when a gun has been pointed in our face. We need to see past the vitriol and have compassion for the suffering that causes it. We need to speak to our mutual humanity rather than to the identities people create for themselves that invariably clash with others' assumed identities. We lost this battle, but the only way to win the war is not by continuing to have "I feel your pain, brother" conversations with people who think the way we do. It's not by having nasty battles of words and policy with "the others" in the hopes of defeating them. Only by meeting "the others" halfway and finding common ground, understanding that their hopes and fears aren't much different from our own, even if they have a totally different means of expressing it than we do, can we find a real and stable solution. That means that rather than ignoring or arguing with Trump supporters, rather than meeting them with accusation and dismissal, we must meet them with kindness, objective reasoning, and understanding, and try to find a way to show them that the solutions to their problems don't lie with the Trump method - a fact many may end up seeing for themselves in due time (e.g. Trump voters who will now see their healthcare taken away), but that we can help show them. They may not respond in a positive manner immediately, but ultimately what matters most is how they react when they have the chance to voice their concerns to our elected leaders.

Post-Election Thoughts #7

Leaving the Dhamma center yesterday, our friend said "During the meditation I was focusing on spreading lovingkindness and guess who popped into my head? F'ing Donald Trump!" Yes. Of all the people in America who need kindness and compassion and empathy, Trump is near the top of the list. The things he has said and done and the things he has proposed could only come from the mind of someone who is deeply, profoundly troubled, self-loathing and suffering, and doesn't know the skillful ways to deal with it. So it goes to reason that we should look past the vitriolic rhetoric and hateful actions and see the fear and pain and weakness that is causing it, just as we should with ANY bully. After that statement, our friend said "can you imagine if we all did that? If we all wished Donald Trump peace and compassion?" Agreed, and taking it one step further, we can and should counter every thing he and his supporters say and do that is detrimental with something that is nourishing. Election results aside, we are still in the majority, by a long shot. So let's push back with compassion and wisdom, the only true antidotes to their hate and ignorance. If he or his supporters say something awful, let's all say something wonderful. If they dismiss, we listen. If they break down, we build up. If they lash out with fear, we fight back with love. If they are uncaring, we should reach out. We should offer our support not only to those who will suffer at their hands, but to them and the deep pain that is at the root of their anger and hate. It won't change things overnight, but we can prove that hate may have won this temporary battle, but it will not win the war.

Post-Election Thoughts #6

Starting this past Wednesday morning, I am ignoring the mass media (I mostly have been for months anyway). The worst of them exist only for their own selfish ends and are largely responsible for the circus of insanity that got us to this point. The best of them are commendable for their candor and motives, but the stories they report are still only going to create discontent over things I cannot change at this point. I do not need my outrage to be developed and nurtured, there is nothing to be gained by mulling over details and investing energy into them. It is like this. Things are what they are but do not need to remain so. Alix and I will teach our children to be compassionate to all, to not attach to either fear or happiness, and to be good people. I will donate to charity and volunteer my time and skills to worthy causes that benefit others. I will help support the afflicted and abused, especially those victimized by what is yet to come. I will cultivate my own morality by acknowledging my own mortality and seek to pass that along when I can. I will vote with my wisdom and dollars and pen, but not with my emotions. I will not, however, hang on every juicy detail of a nightmare come true. I will not repost angry rants or gossip with like-minded people. I won't scan my News Feed or other news sources for thoughts that only serve to reinforce my existing beliefs, and then self-righteously proclaim all others to be worthless. Life is too short for moral outrage, even if the outrage is perfectly justified. Life is too beautiful to stay mired in sadness and anger and vengeance. In the grand scale of the universe, even these major events are insignificant. Life goes on, one breath at a time. There is something better than being right, better than getting what we want, better than not getting what we don't want - and that is peace from within, regardless of what happens in the external world. Ajahn Chah said "I don't talk about politics. I only talk about things that have an end." Things like suffering, the delusion of self, the myth of permanence. Those are what really matter. And so those are all I wish to talk about, too. Be well friends, and may you find peace in all things.

Post-Election Thoughts #5

The Dalai Lama tells the story of a monk who was captured and was being tortured daily by government authorities. The monk said " The worst part wasn't the torture. It was the times I almost lost my compassion and empathy for the people torturing me." If that monk could keep his compassion and equanimity in those circumstances, we can keep ours in this one.

Post-Election Thoughts #4

If you can set aside your anger and grief for a moment, consider this… Why would someone vote for Donald Trump? They could be an ignorant, racist, misogynist... but I will bet that they are in a minority. More likely, there are millions of people who are suffering greatly, who have been fed a diet of fear and hate for the last eight years by conservative overlords and media, and their vote is a sign of their worry and frustration. It matters not whether their fears are justified or unjustified, they deserve our compassion, and honestly, only compassion and understanding is going to turn the tide. Vitriol and barriers will only exacerbate the problem. Openness and wisdom will prevail. I am trying to be mindful of the fear and lack of hope that underlies the Trump voters outward hate and bitterness, and having empathy for them. It is extremely difficult, but it is the only right way.

Post-Election Thoughts #3

The Buddhist monk Ajahn Sumedho had been given the task of building up a new monastery in England. He went back to Thailand to visit his teacher Ajahn Chah, who asked him how things were going. He replied that everything was great, all the people were wonderful, and everything was going smoothly. Ajahn Chah grunted and said " well you will never learn anything that way!" Bad times are tests of our mettle and our ability to maintain equanimity, peace, and grace. We learn the most about ourselves and our strengths when things go wrong, not when things are going well. Welcome this time with openness and use it as an opportunity to see inside yourself, to learn and grow.

Post-Election Thoughts #2

Nothing is permanent. These things too shall come to pass, and any damage done can hopefully be minimized and reversed. It will only be four years, maybe less. If we let this result anger us too greatly, cause us to suffer too badly, then we give hate and ignorance even more power than they have already been given. He will soon control the oval office, do you really want to give him control over your heart and mind as well?